I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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