you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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