I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
