You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
