marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is the high leading the old right now
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
