My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
