quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What a dumb baby whore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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