haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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