If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
