I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
