O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
