i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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