it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
