I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he shaved USA in his pubs
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
