I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
