We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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