We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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