I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
