I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
