the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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