Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
