I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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