You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
