She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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