I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
