how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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