just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
