I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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