There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
