so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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