We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
