why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
