i think my tv is drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
