We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
