If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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