i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
