I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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