I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
