Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
