Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
