ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
