we're blogging at a bar
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
