im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
