K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
