I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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