Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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