bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
