hotel room ftw
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
