I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
