You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
