I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
